Monday, December 9, 2013

phantoms

>>> somehow, after i'd already gotten ready for the day and walked to campus, i then realized my freshly cleaned shirt smelled like rotten potatoes. like, seriously rotten potatoes. things got desperate and i rubbed hand sanitizer all over my shirt to mask the smell. in case you're wondering, hand sanitizer evaporates with the speed of lightening, and so does its smell. i suffered.

>>> i spilled hand sanitizer all over my green pants and it bleached them??

>>> hypothetical situation. you're in the library. you get the hiccups. you have to yawn. just at the peak of the yawn, a hiccup comes out. your wide open mouth acts like an intercom, shouting the hiccup to all corners of the quiet library. everyone looks at you. what do you do? you look side to side, acting as if you didn't do it. oh wait, there's absolutely no one behind you. you fake laugh. no one else laughs with you. you blog about it, pretending it didn't phase you. lies.

>>> i'm convinced there's no non-mortifying way to blow one's nose in public. this is truly unfortunate, because #snot.

>>> i have a diagnosed addiction. google says i'm called a french fryaholic.


>>> don't cry because we're cooler than you.

6 comments:

  1. a) you have gorgeous eyes. b) i feel ya on the snot, girl. i am a big time sneezer/always have a stuffy-ish nose and sinus issues. i have accepted my fate as 'that gross-sniffly-sneezing girl.' at least i'm already married, right?

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    1. a) thank you! b) i literally use being married as an excuse for everything. mainly wearing boys clothes all the time.

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  2. I think it is Lind of funny when I do something embarrassing in public, as long as it isn't truly mortifying. like the other day I went to put my clothes filled hamper in the back of the van and mis judged the locat of the door and smacked my head on it. basically I walked right into the door. I said "ow" and stood there rubbing my head in confusion for a moment (confusion at how I always seem to walk into doors and walls and counters) and I heard a snort. I looked over and a 20 something year old girl standing by her car was laughing. I laughed and said "you didn't see that..." To which she started laughing harder. I figured that at least I made her day with my awkward clumsiness...

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    1. right?!!! and blogging my embarrassing moments makes me feel extra better, because it seems like i REALLY don't care ;)

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