>>> somehow, after i'd already gotten ready for the day and walked to campus, i then realized my freshly cleaned shirt smelled like rotten potatoes. like, seriously rotten potatoes. things got desperate and i rubbed hand sanitizer all over my shirt to mask the smell. in case you're wondering, hand sanitizer evaporates with the speed of lightening, and so does its smell. i suffered.
>>> i spilled hand sanitizer all over my green pants and it bleached them??
>>> hypothetical situation. you're in the library. you get the hiccups. you have to yawn. just at the peak of the yawn, a hiccup comes out. your wide open mouth acts like an intercom, shouting the hiccup to all corners of the quiet library. everyone looks at you. what do you do? you look side to side, acting as if you didn't do it. oh wait, there's absolutely no one behind you. you fake laugh. no one else laughs with you. you blog about it, pretending it didn't phase you. lies.
>>> i'm convinced there's no non-mortifying way to blow one's nose in public. this is truly unfortunate, because #snot.
>>> i have a diagnosed addiction. google says i'm called a french fryaholic.
>>> don't cry because we're cooler than you.