Monday, November 18, 2013

pity party

>>> nothing says love more than dumpster diving for your lover at 7am. thanks, dallas.

>>> an overflowing toilet can be a traumatic experience. one i hope to never have again.

>>> just as i post my fail-safe recipe of the best cake in the world, i suddenly become the world's worst cook. here's to two batches of ruined slow-cooked refried beans, two batches of disgusting brownies, and one batch of successful ramen.

>>> i refer to popular bloggers as if they are my close friends in real life. my sisters know exactly who i'm talking about when i say "naomi" and "sydney" and "james" and "natalie." should those bloggers be creeped out? maybe if they knew i existed. speaking of sydney, let's all take a moment of silence for how infrequent syd's posts have become... also, natalie will always be natthefatrat to me. also, one time i met naomi's sister at kneaders and i immediately knew exactly who she was and i had to go talk to her. it felt like i was meeting a celebrity. or... a celebrity's sister. in case you're wondering, she looks exactly like naomi and she has the same stunning, impossible-to-replicate eyelashes. do you know she's gotten dates from people recognizing her as naomi's sister? that's what her mom told me. yeah, that's right. her mom spoke to me too.

>>> the other day my mom offered to spend an entire day with me, just to help me clean my apartment. new rock-bottom.

>>> sometimes you start mornings with a half hour of reading your classic tabloids about taylor swift. oh wait, that's just me. worth it. totally worth it.

>>> today, i'm owning up to my patheticness. please, everyone come to my pity party. there will be lots of throwing hands up in the air and shouting "it's monday! why? why me!?"

>>> and because i find this picture extremely applicable to my situation in life today, here's a photo of me covered from head to toe in frosting and flour.


16 comments:

  1. Some of my friends met naomi and eleanor a year or two ago! I was so jealous! And yes, I miss sydney's posts too!

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  2. I'll take credit for your readage of James' blog, thank you very much.

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  3. I've caught myself saying "my friend, Natalie" in a sentence, then I realize, "they don't know I exist", and then I realize what a creeper I am...so I totally understand where you're coming from on that one!

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    1. gahaha! trish, i would like to submit they we are actually not creepers, but just very dedicated fans. that makes it okay, right?

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  4. Love this post, haha and love the pic!

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  5. I totally treat popular bloggers as famous people too!!! If you don't blog, it totally sounds weird when you casually mention someone's blog but I do it anyways :)

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  6. What did you have to dumpster dive for? I have clue who those bloggers are! haha we must run in different circles. It totally drives my husband crazy when I start telling him a story about someone, and in the end he realizes they are from a blog. haha opps

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    1. he was dumpster diving for my first paycheck from my new job. a whopping $200 is like half our bank account for our newlywed family, haha.

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  7. This post totally cracked me up. Good job on the job and ya, when you come to my house you can help me decorate furr Christmas!

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  8. Oh boy! It's funny that we find bloggers famous. Only bloggers! ;)

    We all need to throw a pity party here and here. I've been throwing mine for over a month.

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  9. My boyfriend refers to the bloggers I follow as "your friend" so and so. I secretly enjoy it.

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    1. hahahaha! hahahahahaha! that's so perfect.

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  10. you are the best! i totally refer to popular bloggers like that, too. and my friends and i act like we are BFFs with them. you know, first name basis and such.

    i love your naomi story. i just wonder how she even leaves her apt in NYC. first of all, her kids are the cutest darlings and second of all, NAOMI. so.

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    1. i know!!! i think one day i will go to new york just to meet her and get my picture with her. and then she'll probably get a restraining order. haha, JUST KIDDING! (i'm not).

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  11. ah! i so refer to them by first names too! the quadfectra, or something.

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