>>> nothing says love more than dumpster diving for your lover at 7am. thanks, dallas.
>>> an overflowing toilet can be a traumatic experience. one i hope to never have again.
>>> just as i post my fail-safe recipe of the best cake in the world, i suddenly become the world's worst cook. here's to two batches of ruined slow-cooked refried beans, two batches of disgusting brownies, and one batch of successful ramen.
>>> i refer to popular bloggers as if they are my close friends in real life. my sisters know exactly who i'm talking about when i say "naomi" and "sydney" and "james" and "natalie." should those bloggers be creeped out? maybe if they knew i existed. speaking of sydney, let's all take a moment of silence for how infrequent syd's posts have become... also, natalie will always be natthefatrat to me. also, one time i met naomi's sister at kneaders and i immediately knew exactly who she was and i had to go talk to her. it felt like i was meeting a celebrity. or... a celebrity's sister. in case you're wondering, she looks exactly like naomi and she has the same stunning, impossible-to-replicate eyelashes. do you know she's gotten dates from people recognizing her as naomi's sister? that's what her mom told me. yeah, that's right. her mom spoke to me too.
>>> the other day my mom offered to spend an entire day with me, just to help me clean my apartment. new rock-bottom.
>>> sometimes you start mornings with a half hour of reading your classic tabloids about taylor swift. oh wait, that's just me. worth it. totally worth it.
>>> today, i'm owning up to my patheticness. please, everyone come to my pity party. there will be lots of throwing hands up in the air and shouting "it's monday! why? why me!?"
>>> and because i find this picture extremely applicable to my situation in life today, here's a photo of me covered from head to toe in frosting and flour.