Saturday, June 8, 2013
don't wear a bikini because a boy might mistake you for a tool!
i've often avoided voicing my opinions about modesty. mostly because i know it's a controversial topic, and also because the conclusions i've made about modesty are... complex. but then this video started floating around facebook. and i'm like... no. and here's why:
there are two main problems i have with the way modesty is taught today.
1) whenever the 'weakness of the male mind' is used as a reason to be modest.
2) whenever invisible lines are put on a women's body to define what is modest and what is immodest.
i will only be talking about numero uno today, because this conversation sort of exhausts me.
(before anyone bites my head off, let me just say i have no problem with the principle of modesty in the Gospel. but i believe we could improve the way it is taught and discussed by tradition in the Church.)
almost every time modesty is brought up in conversation, the topic of men's minds is brought up. PROBLEMATIC. i know the facts. i've heard the statistics. i've been told over and over that the male mind is a creepy place where sexual thoughts run rampant - and the men can't control it. it's how their brain works! these are facts! according to this video, it's science! PROBLEMATIC. but i'm not even going to go into that right now--that's a post of it's own.
i am going to explain why the 'male mind' is not an answer for why women should dress modestly. at all. ever. women should never dress modestly for the sake of keeping the male mind clean. and i don't even think teaching that women should dress modestly for the sake of being respected by men is good either. women should dress modestly for themselves, and for Heavenly Father. period.
why is this important? why am i bothered when the 'weakness of the male mind' is taught as a reason to be modest? i claim that teaching that the 'weakness of the male mind' is a reason to be modest is harmful to women. because it loses track of what modesty is really about. it often results in women constantly wondering 'what will people think when i wear this?' or 'will so-and-so think i'm a whore if i dress this way?' or 'will i cause him to think dirty thoughts?' and it can make women self-conscious about their automatically-sexualized bodies. it places responsibility on women to keep men's thoughts clean and it can make them feel pressure for the sins of others! this mindset can distract one from remembering what modesty is really all about. modesty is really about treating your body like the sacred gift that it really is. that's all.