Monday, January 5, 2015

cry for help

i've lived in utah for thirteen years.

thirteen years.

it's a pleasant place.


we are bored out of our minds.
please, someone enlighten us.
we don't want to spend a lot of money on ski passes and movie nights and country clubs and eating out.

what does one do?
we read books, we binge netflix, we try new recipes.
but really, what does one do in utah in the wintertime?

Thursday, November 13, 2014


i decided conditions have to be just right for me to write a blog post. it's a very delicate... 'thing'. and the moment it's off balance i simply can't write - maybe it's a form of writer's block? i don't know what it is but there's a formula that it has to stick to or it's gone before it came. like i have to be happy. really happy. and the words and ideas have to be fresh, because they just don't fit if i try to write hours after the initial thought.

so i haven't written consistently in a long time. not that i haven't been happy. maybe there was something about school and the pressure it was putting on me that every burst of exhilarating freedom allowed had to be expressed in something as solid as a blog post. i'm just talking nonsense now. but it's flowing and it's flowing now so i've got to get it down on paper blog.

post-school life has been so... weird. exciting, yes. scary, yes. but weird? i didn't expect. how should i have? most of my life i've always known exactly what i was going to do the next year and the next year and the year after that. and i thought i knew what was coming. post-school life meant life without school. simply awesome life, right? but mostly it's just been weird for me. not terrible - because working full-time and having no homework isn't so bad. but i don't know what is going to happen next year. or the next. or the year after that. 


on another note, can we talk about how i'm so over stereotypes right now? and i feel like a baby for acting like a victim of stereotyping. but, it's still not cool. and lately i've been reminded of it like a not cool slap in the face. hey stranger that just met me: YOU DON'T KNOW ME. and i don't want your unsolicited advice.

also, stranger, since you didn't know-it's not okay to ask me if and when i'm going to have kids just because i have a ring on it.


p.s. you know that club of crazies-watching-gilmore-girls-on-netflix? well i'm in that club, and i gift this to all you other crazies out there.

Monday, October 27, 2014


tangy barbecue corn
washed out polaroids
sunbathing in my skinnies
birthdays on the beach
sea salt hair
eatin' the fresh lobster you caught
sunburned cheeks
cheesecake factory
babysittin' mea
cruisin' on our cruisers
showering in the ocean
nights out on the town in waikiki
sandy's sandwich truck
jumping off the rock at waimea
drinkin' pog around the bonfire
swimming with dolphins
and snorkeling with the three-legged turtle

i'm missin' my hawai'i.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

guacamole or garnish?

tonight was really weird.

tonight was really sweet.

things have been been a little stressful over here. i got a new job, i had to learn stick shift, and... that's about it. but the stick shift thing, it's gettin' to me. i now have a personal vengeance against every person who proclaims their adoration for their manual and how easy it is to drive it. i'm being real mature, i know, but it's a simple thing like driving a moving piece of deadly machinery, barreling and shaking through the streets and trying not to harm another human being that really pushes me over the edge. especially in provo, where there's 1,000 oblivious pedestrians crossing the street at any given second. how is this legal?

anyway, i'm two years old again. i'm snappy, i'm frustrated, and i'm often in tears. and before anybody makes a stupid pms joke, stop. i'm just going through the awkward stage of driving a stick shift. and through this entire phase dallas has been the single most supporting and patient partner ever. he's spent hours in the car with me everyday for the last week, teaching and helping me practice, despite his full-time school schedule and two jobs.

so we're at jimmy john's tonight and i'm ordering a sandwich. but i'd been boycotting that place, you know, because every time i go there my 75 cent add-on of avocado is spread thinner than my mayo and that's a crime. it's just that when you pay extra for a vegetable you expect to taste it on your sandwich, right? but tonight we found ourselves at jimmy john's despite (because we've been having pizza night every night over here and its been getting to our arteries). i asked the cashier politely, "i know this is obnoxious, but could you just make sure they put a decent amount of avocado on my vito?" he almost acted offended at my 'absurd' request. five minutes later i'm staring at my gutted sandwich, and i'm wondering what kind of cruel karma is this? i decided to ask for a little more avocado, only to get told my 75 cents was only worth one tablespoon and too bad if i can't taste that one tablespoon of avocado transparently spread on my 8" sub. i was back at our table feeling deflated and childish and why are my cheeks wet? when next thing i knew dallas had scooped up my sub, bounded to the counter and was demanding more guac. i was gawking and i was speechless because dallas ≠ confrontation. a second later there was a freshly guaced out sub on my lap and an avenged dallas looking at me from across the table with a little smile. and guys.

it was the weirdest thing.

it was the sweetest thing.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

run-on paragraph

so. dallas is just watching wishbone and i'm watching gilmore girls, because netflix, and nostalgia. GG makes me want to go to harvard and eat twinkies, and is it just me or did lorelai and max get engaged after only like 2 weeks of dating? what? we're having a great time, dallas and i. we're happy. really happy. i mean, we're in school and we're working full time and we're a million miles from the coast, but we're happy. i had to learn how to use a stickshift today, and it involved yelling and tears and ugly faces on my part and encouragement and patience and chuckling from dallas. he is one perfect human. we had friends visiting this weekend. friends. we have them. we went camping with them. actually we stuffed blankets and pillows into the car and went to the store and bought marshmallows and graham crackers and hershey bars and then drove to the top of the mountain and decided there was probably a chainsaw murderer in the aspens and then realized we didn't want to be camping. so we turned around and found a hot tub and then made our smores over candles and in the oven and fell asleep watching the great gatsby. we also went to denny's with them but then ended up at ihop and spent $20 on a mediocre meal. let's talk about the monopoly denny's and ihop have with breakfast food and how it's wrong. who charges $10 for an omelet? who pays $10 for an omelet? but i had to because it's 1am and who can make an omelet at 1am? only ihop and denny's, obviously. but you know what really needs to happen? a 24 hour chinese restaurant.

i know this post is just random words strung together, so if you actually want to know the exciting things going on in my life, you can follow me on instagram at lydia.lizard because that's the only place i post about anything lately.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

head bangin'

+ i use dallas' deodorant just so i can smell like him.

+ today dallas got a headache because he was hardcore head bangin' to punk rock. while making cookies. typical dallas. (speaking of cookies and dallas, i think my husband has found the most perfect choco chip cookie recipe in the world, found here. also, fact: if you find yourself on the last step of making cookies and realize you don't have any baking soda, you can substitute it for 3x the amount of baking powder. works like a dream.)

+ speaking of where all our baking soda went.. so i've tried something new. it's called forgoing the $20 of cleaning supplies we buy every time we move and instead spending a total of $2 on a box of baking soda and a bottle of kroger white vinegar. i'm not really a chemically aware human, but i never want to go back to chemicals again, because $2 > $20. hah.

+ currently trying to talk dallas out of shooting fireworks at the group of singles on the balcony across the way.. i can't think of a good argument.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014


+ guys. so today dallas and i were watching all four videos of taylor's 'shake it off' outtakes (well, i was watching and dallas was looking over my shoulder for the price of cuddling), which somehow led to a taylor '1989' inspired photoshoot, which somehow ended up like this ^^^. you can now find my newly released single, 'skate it off', on itunes.

+ that reminds me, have any of you instastalked miley lately? talk about a porthole to the ttttwwwiiillliiiggghhhttt zzzooonnneee. srsly. i found myself there in a bout of insomnia at 3 in the morning the other night and it strangely clicked with my half asleep zombie self in a way i cannot explain. miley, i will always love you.

+ as part of my attempt to enjoy provo and blog more i'm taking more photos as incentive. pray for dallas.